I try to imagine how my life would’ve been different had she lived this long. I think that had she had more time on this earth, I would’ve been able to gain a better perspective of her and her ways. As I have said previously, she was complicated and sometimes getting close to her was near impossible.
So, in the absence of my mother, I have to say that time and circumstance have been a teacher to me. In the gap between my mother’s death and today, time has taught me not to take this life for granted. Appreciate all that is around us, soak in the every day mundane chores and responsibilities. Be thankful for a purpose. Rejoice in pain, celebrate those tears because that means you can feel, you can hurt. Embrace joy.
My circumstances have taught me that everything can change in an instant. If we are not mentally and spiritually prepared, it can be a long and bumpy road, the lessons that we learn can be painful. I have faced this on many occasions since Helen Ruth passed away. At times I was better prepared than others. Be rest assured that life can change when we are least expecting it. It’s how we face it, how we deal with it that defines who we are… or at least who we want to become.
I have learned that happiness is a choice. Only for so long can we blame our past, point fingers at others that “made us who we are.” We are who we have chosen to be. For me, I choose happiness.
My dear mother, I miss you. I miss the time that we have lost. I’m sorry that you weren’t here to enjoy all of your grandchildren and yes, your great grandchildren. Love to you on your birthday,
Cat
My wedding day – 1974