Category: life lessons

11Jan

A letter to my younger self

Dear future Cathy Rhea,

You’re young right now.

You can only see what is right in front of your eyes at the moment. Nothing matters but the here and now.

Is there cake for dessert? Will that boy call me tonight? Will I get a new Easter dress?

But in time, many more things will matter. Life will get hard. There will be challenges.

We don’t know what your future holds, we don’t know who will come in and out of your life, we can’t predict your level of success, or for that matter, how long you will live. But here are a few things that your 61 year old self would like to say to you to help you prepare for what lies ahead.

  • Be kinder to yourself.
  • Don’t be afraid to be alone. You will grow from it. And learn.
  • One day you will get your heart broken. Really bad. But it will not break you.
  • Never stop looking for the good in people.
  • Please don’t rush into adulthood. You will have the rest of your life to be an adult.
  • You will get tired of children’s birthday parties. It’s normal, try not to feel guilty.
  • Your weight will fluctuate. Love yourself no matter what the scales say.
  • Never settle – on the big stuff –
  • but, be flexible on the little stuff.
  • Be authentic. Always. You can only pretend to be something or someone you’re not for so long – but the real you will eventually emerge – so stay true.
  • Don’t spend your adult life wanting more from someone than they are willing or able to give – especially your mother.
  • Speaking of your mother, don’t let her talk you into that Toni home permanent.
  • Never buy a maroon car. You’ll hate it.
  • Learn how to dance.
  • Call your Daddy more than you do. He won’t always be around.
  • Not everyone will live by the Golden Rule.
  • You will never love running, so save your money on those expensive running shoes.
  • Please don’t get married at age 18. (You’re not going to listen, your’e going to do it anyway).
  • Discover early what you are passionate about and pursue it.
  • Go to college.
  • There is black and there is white / There is right and there is wrong. But there are gray areas in this life. That is the part that will drive you crazy.
  • Learn how to tell a joke.
  • You will love your children equally, but in different ways. Don’t let that scare you.

There are endless lessons in this life to learn, challenges that will make you question yourself, your abilities, and your stamina. But stay strong; you have your father’s compassion and your mother’s tenacity to get you through your toughest days. You’ll be just fine.

Love,

Me

 

13Nov

Those three words

 

It happened one day last week.

I left work that afternoon at my usual time and I was tired, really tired. And to beat all, I hadn’t felt well all day – you know that feeling that you get right before you get officially sick? Runny nose, cough, aching.. all the symptoms of a cold coming on.

Charlie, along with a good friend of his,  had left town just an hour earlier heading to Atlanta.  In his absence, I was looking forward to going home, settling into my pjs, and curling up into bed with my dogs along with a hot cup of tea.

Except I hit a bump in the road – literally. Well, a convenient store parking lot curb to be specific. 

I was thirsty. Maybe from the excessive coughing; maybe from the cold medicine I had taken  earlier. So I benignly decided to stop at the convenient store for a soda before going home.

And boom!

What was that?

Damn.

The curb. I hit the curb.

Instantly the low tire indicator came on and it was just a matter of finding out exactly which tire I had blown.

With my heart and mind racing, I got out of my car to discover the right front tire was flatter than the batch of homemade biscuits I attempted to make last year.

I drive a Chevrolet Volt (it’s electric). Spare tires are not included…. something about space availability… carrying extra weight…bla bla bla.  So, here I am in a parking lot, miles from home, with a flat tire.

Am I in danger?

No.

Am I hurt?

No.

But I am in need of a tow truck. And maybe a hug.

So I called Charlie in hopes of a hearing a friendly voice and getting a tow truck connection. As embarrassed as I was to tell the story, “Honey I jumped a curb, I have a flat tire”, I made the call anyway.

And what did he say?

Those three words that sometimes we all need to hear.

“I’ll be there”.

“No honey”, I said (maybe not too convincingly), “I’m grown, I can take care of it. Keep heading south, just call me a tow truck please.”

Charlie immediately got on the phone with the insurance company and got the process started on getting a tow truck to my location.

As I sat there in my car waiting on the tow truck (not much else to do), I thought about all the times I was forced to handle these situations on my own for so long. Did I manage? Yes, yes I did. And I gained confidence each and every time I made it through another challenge.

But I gotta tell you, it felt good having Charlie to call, having someone to say, “I’ll be there”. No questions asked…. well, maybe, “How did you not see that curb?”…  🙂

In the end, Charlie and Stephan made it there before the tow truck did – and I was so glad to see those friendly faces!

May I always remember how sweet those three words are, and to be that friendly voice on the other end of the phone when needed.

Peace (and keep it on the road),

Cat

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

30Oct

It’s just a jacket, right?

It’s old. It’s faded. Some of the edges are frayed. There’s a tear in the cuff that can’t be repaired. It’s definitely seen better days.

This jacket has been with me for the better part of 25 years.

There’s been a few times I’ve had it in my “toss” pile, only to  change my mind and pull it back out.  So, I ask myself, what is it about this jacket that I keep running back to like an old friend? What is it about this unpretentious article of clothing that I can’t seem to let go of?

Simple.

It’s history.

It’s the history that is held inside the body of this jacket.

In the years since I have owned this piece of clothing (or, does it own me), this jacket has kept my body warm and my soul comforted. It’s the comfort of chicken soup and the warmth of hot chocolate.  This friend of mine has kept me warm at  UT football games, hayrides, and  pumpkin carvings. Its sleeves have wiped noses, its hood has kept the rain off. It has served as an impromptu pillow and a blanket for little ones. It has accompanied me on walks, endless farmer’s markets,and soccer games.  It has been with me on some of my best days, and some of my worst days. On some of my darkest days, it has caught tears that couldn’t be held back.

Just look at this picture. That jacket is keeping my daughter warm on a chilly Saturday morning in 1994. That’s Shane on her lap (he’s 30 now). 
jacket

Fast forward to October 2012 (18 years later), that’s Shane wearing that very same jacket. He and Brandon supported me by participating in the Out of the Darkness community walk for Suicide Prevention. 
shanejacket

 I asked my daughter Robin to put on the jacket so I would have a picture of her wearing it too. 🙂

robinjacket

And just 2 years ago, I brazenly got it back out of the toss pile  and wore it while running errands on yet another chilly East Tennessee Saturday morning.

catjacket

And then, just this spring, here “we” are with Charlie on a video shoot in Birmingham, AL.  This old jacket and her ample pockets came in handy storing camera batteries, filters, lens caps, and a handful of C47’s (also known as clothespins).

So, if I could turn back the hands of time would I make her new again?

No, not really. Because, like its owner, this beloved jacket of mine has worked hard for those worn edges, she has earned the frays and the imperfections that make her what  she is today.

And what happens to this little sweetheart when I’m no longer around to need her? Well, Ms. Ames, she’s yours – as you wish.

31Jan

Happily Ever Holbrook

We  don’t care for each other’s music.

He likes to sleep with the television on; I prefer complete darkness and the soothing sound of a fan next to me.

When it comes to decorating styles, I think, “Less is more”, he thinks, “More is more”.

He’s a morning person. I, am not. Definitely, not.

But it works.

Despite our differences, it works. My yin to his yang gives us the perfect blend of our personalities to keep things interesting. And fun. And laughing. And, if I’m being honest here, the occasional head-butt.

One year ago today we went on our first date. It was, (for both of us), an instant attraction. We knew within the first few weeks that this relationship was going to be permanent.

It’s been quite the year. Quite the adventure.

In October we stood on a beach with a few dear friends and family as witnesses, and we pledged to spend the rest of our lives together. We publically proclaimed our love and made personal promises to one another.

It was by far one of the best days of my life.

This man has allowed me to dream again. He has reaffirmed my ability to fall in love. He has given my heart a home. And as corny as it sounds (and possibly not popular to say anymore), he completes me.  And for all of those things, I will forever remain grateful.

Love to my Charlie on our first anniversary.

Cat